2010 Mazdaspeed3: The Most Hideous New Car Ever?

Look away, it’s hideous!

In one of the most disappointing debuts in the history of automobiles, the 2010 Mazdaspeed3 is almost laughably ugly. Uglier than an Edsel. Uglier than an Aztec. This car, based on the front end alone, is destined to land on every future top 10 list of ugly cars from now until eternity.

The grinning front end looks like a combination of Ronald McDonald, that guy in the Smilin’ Bob commercials, and the inside of fish gills.

I’m shocked that the good people over at Mazda ever thought this was actually a good design strategy. Maybe all the effort went into the car’s performance, which I admit is impressive, and styling was just an afterthought left to an overly happy intern.

The thing is, I don’t care that the new Mazdaspeed3 is rated at 262 hp or puts down 280 lb-feet of torque at 3,000 rpm. Heck, I wouldn’t care if it had the engine from Aston Martin’s screamin’ new One-77, I’m not getting within 20 feet of a car that looks like a rolling Enzyte commercial.

The hood scoop looks out of place, and the bluntly rounded front end looks like a dead, bloated dolphin.

Reviewers really dig the Mazda’s exhilarating track performance, but that doesn’t change the fact that its ridiculously silly face looks like a pukey cutesy Pokemon character. Does Mazda seriously think a young hip adult will go for this happy-faced new 3 over a WRX or Mitsubishi Evo?

Studies have shown that buyers prefer cars with angry faces. That’s especially true with young, brooding 20-somethings, who won’t spend $25K on a car that looks like it belongs in a Candy Land game.

I sure hope disgusting front-end treatments don’t start getting popular. Acura did it and now Mazda. As much as I despise Acura’s cringe-worthy new beak, I think I’d rather have that than this new Mazda.